How do you stay close when your family lives far away?

Make regular plans rather than calling whenever there's time, and pick the technology that suits you, which doesn't have to be the newest. Phone calls, video and shared photos can all keep you close from a distance. Research suggests that how often you're in touch matters more than how you do it.

Children who move to another city or another country, grandchildren with busy schedules: for many families, distance is a fact of life. But distance and closeness are two different things, and closeness is the one you can work on.

Make it regular

The most important advice has nothing to do with technology: make regular plans. A call "when we get a minute" can easily slip to three weeks later. A standing Sunday call at 4 o'clock becomes a tradition you both plan around and look forward to. That goes for phone calls, video and everything else.

A large review of research on technology and loneliness among older adults found that technology can help people feel more connected, but that the evidence for any single tool is limited. That's useful to know: there's no one right gadget you have to learn. What matters is that the contact actually happens, and keeps happening.

Pick the right way to stay in touch

• The phone is still the most dependable. Everyone can use it, and research shows that regular, friendly phone calls can ease loneliness.
• Video calls are especially good with grandchildren: you see faces, get shown drawings and can join the birthday party from a distance. Ask your family to set it up so it starts with a single tap.
• Photos and messages keep everyday contact going between conversations. A photo of your lunch or your garden doesn't need a special occasion.
• Doing things together at a distance works for some families: watching the same TV show and talking about it afterward, or doing the same crossword.

Make it easy for them to keep up

Many families would like to know a bit about your daily life without having to quiz you. Tell them about the small things as they happen, not just the big ones. Some families share a photo diary, and others use apps where the family can follow along with daily life. Find the level that suits you, and say clearly what you're comfortable sharing.

When family can't be everything

Family far away can't cover a whole social life, and they shouldn't have to. Add something close to home: a senior center, a regular class or a volunteer who comes by. In the US, the Eldercare Locator (1-800-677-1116) can point you to what's available near you. In the UK, many local Age UK branches offer befriending, where a volunteer visits you at home. Company nearby and company at a distance don't compete. Together, they give you a network you can rely on.

This is general information, not medical advice. Every situation is different, so talk to a doctor about yours.